Your Heartbeat (A Poem)

I tremble beside you.
Waking in terror, my pulse racing,
I look to you for solace.
Lost in slumber, you do not know my fear.
In the darkness of our room,
And the darker reaches of my mind,
All that reaches me
Is your heartbeat.

I have never dared to wake you,
No matter how often this plagues me.
Your face, angelic in repose,
Does not deserve the burden of my past.

Fragments of shattered innocence,
Cut into my soul,
Like the knife that struck me
So long ago.
Yet I am safe with you.
I can hear the grace,
And kindness
Of your heartbeat.

I do not know what it is I fear,
My demons have since fallen to the void.
Death and madness have protected me,
Yet no distance offers respite from my pain.

You know bits and pieces.
You know the merciless solitude
With which I lived.
You know the relentless doubt
That paralyzed my mind.
You know the fear that grips my heart
And leaves tears on my face, come dawn.
I tell you nothing more than this;
I could never beset your beauty
With knowledge of such atrocity.

When sleep takes me, I know
The nightmares I will again face.
I will not wake you with the terrors
Of a mind that cannot relinquish its past.
I could never make you face my demons;
There is nothing you can do to slay them.
But I do not mind foregoing the comfort of your embrace.
Because for now,
All I want-
All I need-
Is your heartbeat.


3 responses to “Your Heartbeat (A Poem)

  1. Pingback: Second Heartbeat |

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